Adults find it difficult to identify and describe their feelings in simple language, let alone toddlers who lack the years of experience we have with emotions. In fact, one of the most difficult issues children encounter is not understanding emotions, which can lead to outbursts, misbehavior, and tantrums. Training children to articulate their feelings has the extra benefit of developing their communication skills and teaching them to advocate for themselves, in addition to improving conduct and preventing tantrums.
With the everyday changes and anxieties that our children endure throughout the epidemic, teaching children to verbalize their feelings is extremely vital now. Here are three simple methods to discuss strong emotions with your children:
1. Allow them to express their emotions.
When your child is sad, it’s natural to want to “fix” the situation, even if they aren’t in any danger. They were hoping for a red balloon, but instead received a blue one? Stop and give your child a chance to express their feelings before moving into problem-solving mode to avoid a meltdown. Try to put into words what they might be feeling. Because children don’t know how to articulate their feelings, minor concerns can sometimes escalate into full-fledged tantrums.
2. Expand their emotional connection
Sad, dissatisfied, exhilarated, ashamed, delighted, joyful, and frustrated. Adults have hundreds of words at their disposal to communicate our emotions at any one time. However, it takes years to link these words to the emotions they represent, and children are still learning these skills. Talking about emotions early and often with your children will help them develop their emotional lexicon. Storytime is an excellent opportunity to discuss sentiments. Discuss how the characters in their favorite stories could be feeling, as well as how those feelings appear in the character’s actions or body.
When your child exhibits behaviors that are associated with a particular emotion, call them out on it. “Your wrinkled brow and stomping foot tells me that you’re feeling angry,” you could say. You’d be surprised how much allowing kids to name their feelings will help them avoid a full-fledged tantrum.
3. Demonstrate effective emotional communication.
Children learn from the adults around them, so the more you can communicate your emotions, the more your child will learn to do so as well. Tell your kids the next time you snap at someone because you’re concerned about something unrelated. Of course, you don’t have to get into specifics, but you may say something along the lines of, “Mommy was upset about some documents she needed to fill out, so she raised her voice.”
We often act one way because we’re actually experiencing an entirely different emotion that we haven’t dealt with yet, and the sooner youngsters understand this, the better. Children who learn to convey their feelings to others in a positive way are less likely to act out or have emotional outbursts. Furthermore, children who learn to recognize and control their emotions at a young age develop stronger empathy abilities, feel more confident, develop greater resiliency, and a slew of other incredible benefits.
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